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Thread: Chuyện vui lượm lặt

  1. #1
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    Default Chuyện vui lượm lặt

    ____________________________________

    TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
    MARIA: Here it is.
    TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
    CLASS: Maria.
    ____________________________________

    TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
    JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
    __________________________________________

    TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

    GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
    TEACHER: No, that's wrong
    GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
    ____________________________________________
    TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

    DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
    TEACHER: What are you talking about?
    DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
    __________________________________
    TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

    WINNIE: Me!
    __________________________________________

    TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
    GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
    _______________________________________
    TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'

    MILLIE: I is..
    TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
    MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
    _________________________________
    TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's
    cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
    LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
    ______________________________________

    TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
    SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
    ______________________________

    TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
    CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
    ___________________________________
    TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
    HAROLD: A teacher

  2. #2
    Senior Member dethuong_x0x's Avatar
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    Hì Hì! Tếu quá
    Pretty funny!
    But, I don't get these 2:

    TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
    SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
    ______________________________

    TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
    CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
    Nhất tự vi sư , bán tự vi sư
    ---
    1st Version:
    Anyone who teaches me one word - even half a word - is still my teacher.
    2nd Version:
    Even he who teaches me the smallest bit can still be called my teacher

    Please correct my grammar as you see fit. Much appreciated!

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by dethuong_x0x View Post
    hì hì! Tếu quá :d
    pretty funny!
    But, i don't get these 2:

    Teacher: Now, simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
    Simon: No sir, i don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
    ______________________________

    teacher: Clyde , your composition on 'my dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
    Clyde : No, sir. It's the same dog.
    - khong can cau nguyen (moi co an); me toi la nguoi nau gioi cho nen luc nao toi cung co an, khong can phai cau nguyen!

    - khong co cóp "copy = chep bai cua nguoi ta", ma tai no cung 01 con cho cho nen "chu" nao cung giong nhau ca bai!!!
    Last edited by MANH NGUYEN; 09-15-2008 at 06:30 AM.

  4. #4
    Senior Member dethuong_x0x's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MANH NGUYEN View Post
    - khong can cau nguyen (moi co an); me toi la nguoi nau gioi cho nen luc nao toi cung co an, khong can phai cau nguyen!

    - khong co cóp "copy = chep bai cua nguoi ta", ma tai no cung 01 con cho cho nen "chu" nao cung giong nhau ca bai!!!
    Ha! Ha! Tớ hiểu rồi
    Nhất tự vi sư , bán tự vi sư
    ---
    1st Version:
    Anyone who teaches me one word - even half a word - is still my teacher.
    2nd Version:
    Even he who teaches me the smallest bit can still be called my teacher

    Please correct my grammar as you see fit. Much appreciated!

  5. #5
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    Đúng ra bạn ấy không phải cầu nguyện khi ăn vì, thường là thức ăn quá tệ, nên phải cầu nguyện để nuốt cho nổi. Đàng này mẹ bạn ấy nấu ăn ngon, nên không phải cầu nguyện để nuốt cho trôi.

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