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Pls correct my application letter!
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Thread: Pls correct my application letter!

  1. #1
    ducphu
    Guest

    Smile Pls correct my application letter!

    I'm applying for a new job, so pls help me to correct the letter!
    Thanks in advance.

    IBM Vietnam
    Human Resources

    Dear Mr Director,
    I’ve known that your company is looking for a position of computing system specialist from news paper.
    I’m Duc Phu, 32 years old , my major is master of computer science, graduated from the faculty of information technology.
    From public media, I realise that IBM is always ranked at a high position in the top biggist company in the world (Forbes’s annual ranking table).
    To be worked for IBM Vietnam also means that we are working in an professional environment with global standards, so it must be a great oppotunity for me to improve and develop my job’s skills.
    In the hope of becoming a member of IBM Vietnam, if accepted, I will try my effort to contribute to the developping of the company.
    I’m looking forward to hearing from you soon.
    Best regards.

    Duc Phu.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    390

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ducphu View Post
    I'm applying for a new job, so pls help me to correct the letter!
    Thanks in advance.

    IBM Vietnam
    Human Resources

    Dear Mr Director,
    I’ve known that your company is looking for a position of computing system specialist from news paper.
    I’m Duc Phu, 32 years old , my major is master of computer science, graduated from the faculty of information technology.
    From public media, I realise that IBM is always ranked at a high position in the top biggist company in the world (Forbes’s annual ranking table).
    To be worked for IBM Vietnam also means that we are working in an professional environment with global standards, so it must be a great oppotunity for me to improve and develop my job’s skills.
    In the hope of becoming a member of IBM Vietnam, if accepted, I will try my effort to contribute to the developping of the company.
    I’m looking forward to hearing from you soon.
    Best regards.

    Duc Phu.
    Dear Sir or Madam: (Người xét đơn có thể là đàn ông hay đàn bà. Và theo đúng nguyên tắc American business nên dùng dấu hai chấm sau Dear xxxx: vì dấu phẩy (,) không được trịnh trọng bằng)

    I learned from the newspaper that your company has an open position for a computing system specialist. I am very interested in this position and would like to apply for it.
    (Đoạn ngắn mở đầu cho biết từ đâu mình biết đến việc này, có tên báo, ngày tháng và position number càng tốt, và mình muốn xin việc)

    As a brief introduction, my name is Duc Phu (need full name) and I graduated from the faculty of information technology at University (name???) majoring in computer science. In the past few years, I have been working for -- name of company or government institution here -- doing what?? (Trong đoạn này anh phải giới thiệu về mình: học vấn, bằng cấp, kinh nghiệm… ráng viết sao cho thích hợp với công việc họ đang cần mướn để họ đi thêm bước tới. Dĩ nhiên không nên nói dối.)

    IBM is clearly a premier global company with enormous potentials. Establishing a presence in Vietnam, IBM is taking a significant step in directly accessing the dedicated and intelligent workforce readily available in the country. I am excited about the opportunity to join IBM Vietnam, both for its highly professional working environment and for the prospect of making significant contributions to the growth of the company. (Đoạn này này mình khen công ty và nói lý do sao mình muốn làm cho công ty và tại sao công ty nên mướn mình. Tôi viết ở trên chỉ là ví dụ)

    Attached (hay enclosed nếu gửi bưu điện) is a copy of my resume (hay CV) for your consideration. I am looking forward to a favorable response from you.

    Sincerely, (Best regards chỉ nên dùng thông thường hay với người quen)

    Your full name here.

  3. #3
    ducphu
    Guest

    Default

    Exellent, thank Sang56 very much!

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