Vietnamese woman likes foreign man ?

[bima]

My brother's friend has a vietnamese girlfriend, and he also has a family.
Though, she knows he has a wife but she didn't want to leave him.
He has been sending money to her regularly, because he thinks she is poor and wants to help her.
I heard that many vietnamese woman (especially those are poor) like to know foreign boyfriend to get them out from poverty, is that true ? Even though, the man maybe married , they'll still cling on them.

Sounds like your average working girl. All countries have them. There is a website run by a few vietnamese girls that offers some kind of verification for concerned ladies and men. I think the address is bimat. The word bimat means secret in vietnamese...haha!

Good luck!

[thoucc]

My brother's friend has a vietnamese girlfriend, and he also has a family.
Though, she knows he has a wife but she didn't want to leave him.
He has been sending money to her regularly, because he thinks she is poor and wants to help her.
I heard that many vietnamese woman (especially those are poor) like to know foreign boyfriend to get them out from poverty, is that true ? Even though, the man maybe married , they'll still cling on them.

Hi friend, I have followed your thread from the begening. I thought I won't raise any controversial issue any more until I saw this topic turning back to our forum. I strongly dissagree with you if you just only see and point out one side from an illegal relationship between a Viet Girl and a foreign guy. This has been a social problem derived from the policy of "economic reform" of Vietnam Government, which strengthens foreign investments and consists of both negative and positive influences. From that illegal relationship, you just considered the Viet girl trying to cling on to the guy to escape porvety condition and denied the "black side" from the guy. Why didint you say like "Even though the man may be married, he still falls into temptations hurting his family"? For me, we dont need to talk about that because it is absolutely difficult and vast but at least dont sully Viet-girls hournor as a Vietnamese proverb : "an only worm destroys whole tasty soup"--> Cau nay em dich bua the chang biet co dung van Tay khong, co bac nao biet chi gium em nha,
Cheer,

[mooncity]

Hi,

I'm so glad to find this thread.
I'm a mother of 2 kids, my husband knew a vietnamese woman in our country.
She was herillegally in a pub e as a tourist visa but she worked illegally in a pub hence this how both of them got to know each other.
During the 4days they were together, my husband came back home very late and he denied havng an affair with another woman until that woman flew back to Vietnam. On the 5th day,I found a photo they took together.
They've been contacting with each other until now (6mths). Recently, my husband went to Vietnam to visit her, myself and my mother in law went with him. But he didn't want us to follow him because he wanted to meet her alone. So we gave him the freedom but condition he has to come back to the hotel that night unfortunatley he didn't.
I'm so hurt with what he is doing and very angry with that woman too.
She stays in BenLuc, I believe she is a poor woman. She asked money from my husband, he had send twice to her as much as I know.
I know my husband is at fault but that woman know he is married , she should stop the contacting with him.
I'm now trying to find a legal means to stop that woman to cling onto my husband. As I'm not a local hence I need help and advice from you.
By the way, my husband uses this forum to get some vietnamese translation with her so call "vietnamese girlfriend" his user id is ttw,pls do not entertain him anymore.

Hi depress,

i have the same problem with u too.., i also have two kids, and know this affair during this CNY, they have know each other for 3 mths but started to contact on each other since january, i was so drepress and had a talk with him, he tell me that the girl love him, he love her also, she had a kid at vietnam and her husdand had die,she tell him that her husband has loan a sum of money from bank and now he is dead and she need to pay so she has no choice and choose to come here and earn money. she worked illegally in a pub and this how both of them got to know each other. She was poor, but every time they have sex she never ask any money from my hubby this is wat i scare, this make my hubby love her more. After the talked, he say will left the girl and he wan his family, i have meet the girl, 3 of us sit down and had a talked she say will leave him and wan us to be happy, but after she went back on the 4th, she sent 2 sms to my hubby in vientnamese, the 1st is "i really love you, how r u?" and the other is "i miss you, i cant sleep" i was so disapointed. she is coming back this april i just dunno wat will be next.

But i tell myself must be strong and my 2 kids still needed me, same as u your kids still need you, this is wat i wan to share with you.

[depress]

mooncity,

you're from which country ?
find out more of her such as where she works, her passport#, name, photograph and sent to the Immgration of your country. Report to them about this illegal worker , she'll be caught and sent back to her own country. This is what I had done.
She thinks she is able to cling on just for the words of "love".Shows her the right of a legal wife can do, otherwise she thinks she can gets her own way. Do some homework , go to check on the family law in your own country.

[rukkhamula]

In Vietnam, the poor girls are rather self-respecful. They have never taken anything from anyone. They work hardly to earn their living. They don't have time to make them beautiful to decoy foreigner. They always wish a true love and they have a normal and happy family. That's our Vietnamese girl's life.

I agree with Jessica. In my experience, the vast majority of Vietnamese girls are honest, sincere and loyal. They just want to meet someone who will be a good husband and with whom they can have a happy family life. In fact, most of them are very shy about approaching foreigners.

Look at this way. Ask most young Vietnamese women what they would rather do:

1) 'Meet a man who will treat you well and with whom you can settle down and start a family and live an honest, modest life.'

or

2) 'Get involved in all kinds of sleazy and dubious activities, including having affairs with married men, living as an illegal immigrant and adopting a life that depends on lying and cheating and puts you in the power of unscrupulous people who will exploit you so that you will have no pride in yourself and will dishonour your family.'

Given a free choice, I claim that 99% or so would choose the first option. Of course, there are some greedy and unscrupulous women, but that fact cannot be used to label the whole sex.

Those girls who get involved in the second option mostly do so because of problems in their circumstances and from association with the wrong kind of people, who trick them into coerced arrangements which they hate but from which they cannot escape.

It's men who have most of the power and the money, and that fact dictates the behaviour of both sides.

And let's not forget about the Chinese, Korean, Taiwanese, Cambodian and other men who look for wives in Vietnam. Sometimes this is borderline legitimate, at other times it is little short of human trafficking. See this page for details:

http://www.humantrafficking.org/countries/vietnam

So have a little compassion, please.

[Tanyenbai]

But they are very very curious to know. They are shy because they are curious.

[LtDra]

1) 'Meet a man who will treat you well and with whom you can settle down and start a family and live an honest, modest life.'

or

2) 'Get involved in all kinds of sleazy and dubious activities, including having affairs with married men, living as an illegal immigrant and adopting a life that depends on lying and cheating and puts you in the power of unscrupulous people who will exploit you so that you will have no pride in yourself and will dishonour your family.'

Which one you chose
1/ A super grand new model car.
2/A super ugly crushed car.

[onedaymylove]

Forums are a wealth of information and this is an interesting thread. I feel it has even answered some of my own questions and cleared some of my doubts. Not because I'm a girl, too, but from the human aspect point of view I kind of agree with Jessica and rukkhamula.

the vast majority of Vietnamese girls are honest, sincere and loyal. They just want to meet someone who will be a good husband and with whom they can have a happy family life

Well, doesn't (almost) every woman feel this way? But, strangely, there seems to be a worldwide shortage of faithful men Or is it their power and their money that makes them so childishly 'playful' and even irresponsible? Then again, some wives solve the problem by doing exactly the same, cheating on their husbands...

[Paddy]

Forums are a wealth of information and this is an interesting thread. I feel it has even answered some of my own questions and cleared some of my doubts. Not because I'm a girl, too, but from the human aspect point of view I kind of agree with Jessica and rukkhamula.

Well, doesn't (almost) every woman feel this way? But, strangely, there seems to be a worldwide shortage of faithful men Or is it their power and their money that makes them so childishly 'playful' and even irresponsible? Then again, some wives solve the problem by doing exactly the same, cheating on their husbands...

Of course, there are some greedy and unscrupulous women, but that fact cannot be used to label the whole sex.

I take it that you don't know a lot of men. Or it just happened that you know one bad man and label the whole sex.

It is true that men seem more "playfull" than women because they don't try to hide it. In fact they would go around to boast about their "conquests". Women on the other hand, tend to be more discreet.

This is the way most people think. They judge the whole group of people through a few people they know.

[onedaymylove]

First of all: why is it not possible that Vietnamese women fall blindly in love with a Western or any other man? Some women are ready to sacrifice all for the love of man, others prefer to sacrifice their own hearts because they are trapped by circumstances. And that's the way it is.

I take it that you don't know a lot of men. Or it just happened that you know one bad man and label the whole sex.

It is true that men seem more "playfull" than women because they don't try to hide it. In fact they would go around to boast about their "conquests". Women on the other hand, tend to be more discreet.

This is the way most people think. They judge the whole group of people through a few people they know.

Take it easy pls! Of course people like to generalize but please do not misinterpret my words. I never said "all men are bad" and for women I used the word "almost", I never said the whole female sex are angels. OK? In fact I've known plenty of good men and equally bad women. And the truth is where I live (Europe) women don't hide their conquests either. Quite the opposite But I suppose Asia is different. Moral norms are harsher on females. And the victims are the illegitimate children who grow up in humiliation without a father. A house without a roof is a bad thing.

My problem was of all the men I've known, my girlish heart has only ever loved HIM. And I never called him "bad" either. The truth is that after all we did to each other, I still love him. Because I know I caused his pain, too. And I was wrong in saying that he never loved me. I know he DID, in his own way. Our relationship was a huge misunderstanding, but in the end, when I asked for it, he gave me back my freedom. Unlike some of the selfish men and unscrupulous women discussed here in this thread. Or perhaps you didn't like my last sentence about how their wives solve the problem, eh Paddy?