On the way of finding out nation’s trade mark!

[ducphu]

Being a vietnamese, we pride of the long history (4000 years) we pride of natural resources (golden forest, silver sea) and ofcourse, much more things to pride of ….
But in comparion to the modern world, Vietnam have expperiened a long history of 4000 yrs but still a very poor country (although the country have been changed quickly recently). this make us sometimes to be shamed to friends around the world. In reality, there are many reason for this shameful feeling.

On order to a strong and rich country in a short time, i think it’s imposible. The only thing we can do make us become something else to the rest of the world is to do what make us become different, being a vieetnamese we all must find out and build what to form vietnam’s trade mark.

So what is the nation’s trade mark. in my private opinion, nation’s trade mark should be something that differ Vietnam to the rest of the world. Talking about China, we think of immediately a huge workshop of the world, Talking about Singapore, we think of a small but very clear and intelligent country,…. but mention to vietnam what will be appear in mind of global people except a country with poor village, somewhere paople can not afford for food…, and even people somewhere in the world still memorize that Vietnam is still a country of war, of civilwar…

In order to become a huge workshop, a clear and intelligent country or a global office like China, Sing or India in a shorttime, it seams to be infeasible. what we can do is to become something differrent to the rest of the world. Can we be a international cook-house (as the suggesstion of Philip Kotler), can we be destination of sea tourism (we own a coast of 3000km), can we be ……, what we can be…..
Of these are macro issues, it’s belong to the resposibility of the authority, of the government. but as a vietnamese what should we do, i think that what we should is to show that at least vietnamese is polite, elegent to the eye of foreigners.

Wow, my statement seams to be too long, time to stop.
In my deepest heart, i will appreciate very much for your correction or show me the mistake,
Thanks!

[NguoiVietOnAo]

My dear friend-

U need to stop translating word-by-word from Vietnamese into English when writing this sort of essay. Further, you need to learn grammar. Last but not least, please have someone proofread your essay before posting it.

Good Luck!

[ducphu]

My dear friend-

U need to stop translating word-by-word from Vietnamese into English when writing this sort of essay. Further, you need to learn grammar. Last but not least, please have someone proofread your essay before posting it.

Good Luck!

Hi NguoiVietOnAo,
Thank you for your advise, i'll stress more on grammar but i still try to show my thinking at speaking speed.
Thank you

[ThachThao]

My dear friend-

U need to stop translating word-by-word from Vietnamese into English when writing this sort of essay. Further, you need to learn grammar. Last but not least, please have someone proofread your essay before posting it.

Good Luck!

I agree with NguoiVietOnAo that we are just at the stage of translating word-by-word from Vietnamese into English. We are still on the way to get better in English. However, we do not have anyone to proofread what we've just written. Therefore, we hope everyone may help us to correct and we will be gradually better.
Could you please help to correct Mr. DucPhu's short essay above?
This will help us more.
Thanks in advance!
TT

[carolton67]

There are too many corrections needed. Về văn phạm thì cần phải sửa nhiều lắm. Tuy nhiên về lý luận cũng không được vững cho lắm. If I have some free time soon, maybe I will do it. In the meantime, everyone is free to try. Ducphu, luôn tiện cho hỏi trong câu viết "golden forest" ý của Ducphu muốn nói theo tiếng VN là gì? Thông thường khi nói đến forest thì người ta diễn tả là rừng xanh, nhất là ở VN, chỉ có 2 mùa, không có mùa thu lá vàng. Còn từ "trademark" muốn nói theo tiếng Việt là ý gì. Trademark theo anh văn chỉ dùng cho các cơ sở thương mại thôi chứ một quốc gia không thể nào có Trademark được. Ví dụ như nước Pháp có thể nổi tiếng vì các sản phẩm rượu (wine) nhưng đó không phải được xem là Trademark của nước Pháp. Ở đây nói sơ về 1-2 điểm thôi vì không có nhiều thì giờ.

[sang56]

I agree with NguoiVietOnAo that we are just at the stage of translating word-by-word from Vietnamese into English. We are still on the way to get better in English. However, we do not have anyone to proofread what we've just written. Therefore, we hope everyone may help us to correct and we will be gradually better.
Could you please help to correct Mr. DucPhu's short essay above?
This will help us more.
Thanks in advance!
TT

ThachThao
Proofread a document means check the spelling, punctuation, capitalization … (chính tả) of the document, not its English.

The reason for NguoiVietOnAo’s comments was that Ducphu made so many mistakes in his very ‘long’ essay that it’s painful trying to fix it. And the ideas expressed are not very coherent. It’s much better to start small and do a careful job. As an example, I tried to correct the English for the first paragraph while preserving his words and ideas.

Original
Being a vietnamese, we pride of the long history (4000 years) we pride of natural resources (golden forest, silver sea) and ofcourse, much more things to pride of ….
But in comparion to the modern world, Vietnam have expperiened a long history of 4000 yrs but still a very poor country (although the country have been changed quickly recently). this make us sometimes to be shamed to friends around the world. In reality, there are many reason for this shameful feeling.

Corrected
As Vietnamese, we are proud of our long history (4000 years) and of our abundant natural resources (Note: 1) pride is a noun; 2) golden forest & silver sea for rừng vàng biển bạc are meaningless in English in this context.) Of course, there are many more things to be proud of (Note: much is a lot for things that can not be counted, like much appreciation.) Compared with developed nations in the world, Vietnam is still a very poor country despite her long history (even though rapid progresses have been made recently.) (Note: ‘her’ is used instead of ‘its’ for a nation that you’re fond of or have respect for) This sometimes makes us feel ashamed to friends around the world. (Note: why ashamed?) In reality, there are many reasons for this shameful feeling. (Note: What does ‘In reality’ mean here?)

Using his ideas & expressions, I would write something as follows.

We Vietnamese are proud of our long history and cultural heritage (4000 years). Our country also enjoys abundant natural resources and other great attributes important for rapid economic development, such as a very high literacy rate and a hard-working workforce. Compared with developed nations in the world, however, Vietnam is still a very poor country. But promising progresses are being made; at this rate hopefully we will soon participate fully in the world economy and raise the standard of living for all of our people.

[carolton67]

Đồng ý với anh Sang56. Khi muốn học hoặc tập viết anh văn Ducphu nên viết những đoạn ngắn mà có thể diễn đạt được ý nghĩa hoặc lý luận của mình. Làm như cách của ThachThao tốt lắm. Thachthao tập dịch những đoạn văn ngắn và nhờ người khác sửa hộ. Điều này cũng rất tiện lợi cho những người muốn giúp ThachThao vì không cần phải mất nhiều thì giờ. Hình như có câu tục ngữ nào nói đại khái là: Đi cho vững rồi hãy chạy. Cứ học từ từ từng bước một, chậm nhưng mà vững.

[ThachThao]

Thank Mrs. Carolton and Mr. Sang so much!
I have learned many things from your advice and correction!

[ducphu]

Cám ơn các bạn đã chân thành góp ý cho bài viết của tôi.
Tôi đã cố thử viết một bài luận khá dài để kiểm tra kỹ năng viết của mình. Trước đây tôi chưa từng tập viết luận. chỉ học một ít ngữ pháp và tích luỷ từ vựng để đọc tài liệu.
Các góp ý chân thành của các bạn là động lực rất lớn cho tôi nâng cao hơn tiếng anh của mình.
Xin cảm ơn tất cả, đặc biệt là ThachThao mặc dù bạn cũng chưa góp ý nhiều cho các bài viết của tôi.
Thanks

[ducphu]

Dear Carolton67,
Ý tưởng viết bài này tôi dựa trên các nội dung trên các báo chí gần đây trao đổi về việc đi tìm thương hiệu quốc gia cho Việt nam "tôi đã dich là nation's trade mark", sau khi chuyên gia marketing hàng đầu thế giớ Philip Kotler gợi ý Việt nam có thể chọn ý tưởng trở thành "bếp ăn của thế giới" làm thương hiệu quôc gia.
Rất tiếc Tiếng ANh của tôi quá tệ làm các bạn không hiểu được, tất nhiên tôi cũng sẽ cố gắng nhiều nữa.
Thanks