Vienamese family

[waguz]

Hi, I am opening this topic becasue I try to understand relationship within a vietnamese family, especially between parents and their daughter.

I know that connections in vietnamese family are much stronger than in european family, but how far this goes? Does family beat everything else?
If yes, is it caused by obligation towards tradition or by thankfulness to parents or is natural for all vietnamese?

I know these questions are difficult to answer and there may be many opinions about it, and I would like to hear them.

Thank you all for whatever answer.

[vietnamese4u]

first, between parents and children:
- children : con
- father : ba
- mother : mẹ
- grandfather: ông (father's side: ông nội / mother's side:ông ngoại)
- grandmother: bà (father's side: bà nội / mother's side:bà ngoại)
for example: father talk to children:
You have to finish your homework before going to sleep. Are you hearing me?
Con phải làm xong bài tập trước khi đi ngủ. Con nghe ba nói không?

second, between children with each other
- younger person : em (male person: em trai, female person: em gái)
- older person : anh (male), chị (female)

and........

[vietnamese4u]

it's traditional and natural too
it's so rude if someone doesn't say like that

[waguz]

Thanx for your opinion, however, your answer seems to be kinda official.

I mean it looks like you are afraid to say something else then all family members love each other unconditionally and forever. sorry for that.

Let say its like u say. Does it mean that a doughter will always do whatever their parents will tell her to do, for example? Does apply till she get married or it stay like that even after?

W.

PS: i like your blog

[Paddy]

Thanx for your opinion, however, your answer seems to be kinda official.

I mean it looks like you are afraid to say something else then all family members love each other unconditionally and forever. sorry for that.

Let say its like u say. Does it mean that a doughter will always do whatever their parents will tell her to do, for example? Does apply till she get married or it stay like that even after?

W.

PS: i like your blog

Pertaining to this particular example above. It all depends on the family (how parents bring up their children, how traditional vs liberal the family is, how obedient the child is).

The traditional views:

a woman was supposed to be submissive to her father when young, to her husband when married, and to her oldest son when widowed.

Understanding Viet Nam. Neil L. Jamieson. P 18.

Liberal view: She chooses who she loves and marries. She chooses her career. She wants to be independent (financially and socially).

Then, of course, the mix of both view: The daughter is obedient to her parents until she is married. She supports her parents when they are old. She also devotes her life to her own family, support, obey her parents in law. But she also makes her own decision on many matters like education, career, etc.

I cannot just sum it up in few short paragraphs. Try to read Understanding Vietnam by Jamieson to get a basic knowledge of how our society functions. From there you can expand to other books about Vietnam with more contemporary views.

[vietnamese4u]

Maybe I misunderstood your question. In my previous posts, I've just tried to explain to you the way to call of a member in a family, and my example was just used to illustrate. About relationship between members in a family in vietnam, I think that it's the same with the other families in the world

[Paddy]

Maybe I misunderstood your question. In my previous posts, I've just tried to explain to you the way to call of a member in a family, and my example was just used to illustrate. About relationship between members in a family in vietnam, I think that it's the same with the other families in the world

VN4U,
I beg to differ. The relationship between family members in VN is very unique and different from other parts of the world.

[waguz]

thank you for your views.

Those 3 approaches are interesting. From my point of view, the liberal approach is best suited to european culture, however still the traditional approach with few aspects of the mixed approach is common. I mean Vietnamese for example in Czech republic try to assimilate with czech but they stay so far from as by protecting their traditions so much and they dont let czech to come close to them. It is so rare that vietnamese people marry chzech people, unfortunatelly.

What concerns me is that so many young vietnamese live in czech since childhood and they wont to live much like czech, but they cannot because of traditions. Most of the young (about 20 yrs. old) dont dare to resist their parents and go they own way. Often they must lie to parents when they want to live like us.

This book by Neil Jamieson, is it good? isnt it too old fashioned?

[Paddy]

thank you for your views.

Those 3 approaches are interesting. From my point of view, the liberal approach is best suited to european culture, however still the traditional approach with few aspects of the mixed approach is common. I mean Vietnamese for example in Czech republic try to assimilate with czech but they stay so far from as by protecting their traditions so much and they dont let czech to come close to them. It is so rare that vietnamese people marry chzech people, unfortunatelly.

What concerns me is that so many young vietnamese live in czech since childhood and they wont to live much like czech, but they cannot because of traditions. Most of the young (about 20 yrs. old) dont dare to resist their parents and go they own way. Often they must lie to parents when they want to live like us.

This book by Neil Jamieson, is it good? isnt it too old fashioned?

It is an old book. However, it gives you a look on how we coped with Western ideas in early 20th century (liberal vs conservative). It also gives you a basic understanding of our views of the world.

[jolinuer]

My girlfriend didnt get a red envelope on New Years, but she still had to give one to all of her siblings. She said its because shes the oldest, but is that just a family tradition or is it common?