Proper usage of Em and How to address Niece

[shawnpwilson]

Hi all. I'm new to this community....

This seems to be complicated to me.

I have a younger Vietnamese niece who lives in my home. I have just started to try and
learn vietnamese. Sometimes we text message each other in Vietnamese through the iPhone.

Sometimes I address her as "Chau gai" and sometimes as "Em". She said I cannot address her as "Em" because it means something else..."girlfriend"

I have heard men address younger girls as "Em" many times as well as girls address older men as "Anh" many times. They were not siblings and they were not in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. They were just simple friends.

My niece says because I'm her uncle that I cannot address her as "Em". Is that correct?

Here are my thoughts...
If I was her older brother it would be ok. If I was her older friend it would be ok. I can address other younger, unrelated female friend as "Em" (notice I said "female friend" not "girlfriend"). Am I correct on these usages of "Em"

I'm lost here. Can someone shed more light on the proper usage of "Em" and how I can better address my niece instead of "Chau gai"?

Without a direct word for "you" in vietnamese, I find addressing someone a bit difficult. After all, I don't want to address someones girlfriend as "Em" one day and end up with a blackeye.

I greatly appreciate any thoughts on this.

[fija]

Vietnamese personal pronoun

While in English and other languages, there are three persons:

1. I/me/we/us
2. you
3. He/him/she/her/it

In Vietnamese language addressing often follows the rule of age. The first person is expressed as if a third person (little difficult to understand, I guess), for example, the meaning of

I = tôi/tui/tớ/mình
we = Chúng tôi/tớ/mình; tụi tui/mình

is used if the relationship between the speaker and the listener is close enough. But speaking to the elder or stranger, the speaker must consider to choose the 'position', if the speaker's age is as if a younger brother, he uses 'em' and as if a nephew, a son, a grandson, he uses 'Cháu/con'. More, the speaker names the listener 'anh or chị' and 'Chú/bác/ông or Cô/dì (if the listener is a female)', respectively.

Therefore, the speaker uses not the first person to express him/herself but the third one.

Now, when the speaker says: Cháu xin hỏi cụ một câu ạ… [May I ask you a question...]

'I' used as 'Cháu' and 'you' as 'cụ' for in this case, the speaker is of the age of a grandson.

So, the translation becomes

May I, a person of your grandson's age, ask you, as a person of my grandpa's age, a question...

Shawnpwilson, you are right and so is your niece. You can address 'Em' to anyone who is younger than you, irrespective of sex.

Cháu gái can be shortened as Cháu or replaced by Con. The other use is to address her name, this is ok, too.

I hope this explains clear enough. Be free to ask me, Shawn!

[shawnpwilson]

Thank you very much for your timely and thorough response. It certainly helps a lot.

[michaelchau]

man there is alot of chau's out there

[fija]

does anyone get thru what michealchau has wording??????????????????????????????????????????? ???????????/

[michaelchau]

does anyone understand what fija is asking.

[fija]

hey, I really fail to guess the meaning of your sentence: man there is alot of chau's out there. That's all.

[michaelchau]

oh i guess cause i saw the "CHAU GAI" but i think that also means something.