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sua dum essay cho mi`nh nha
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Thread: sua dum essay cho mi`nh nha

  1. #1
    BeTien
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    Default sua dum essay cho mi`nh nha

    The person whom i most admire

    I came to know who to listen to, who to respect, who to rely on, who to trust, who
    to ask for help. My mother is the person I most admire in my life. She inspire me in every different ways. She always there to help me when I need her, when I’m feeling down she always cheer me up, when my father and my aunt scream at me, when I couldn’t take it anymore she always the one there to help me calm because I remember it happens a few times when it come to me that I couldn’t take it anymore so I decided to leave the house but she cried so much and advice me to stay back in the house because she need me. She fix everything that goes wrong in the house just for me to be happy. I’m a lazy daughter I never like to do anything at home my mother always cook for me, she does everything in the house, she always keep the house neat. She never ask me to do anything but I do help her sometime because she thinks for me, she never want me to be tired, she always told me to go school and home that’s all she need from me. She is a great mother, a sweetest mother, a caring one. She always let me out with my friend even when it gets dark, she never want to see me bored at home even though she cares for me once I step out of the house she not there with me when I’m outside and she don’t know what is going to happen to me, but she always want me to be safe and be good. I just love her with all my heart and promise to myself that I will do my best to take care and pay back everything I owed her but I don’t think I could ever pay back everything I owed her because she raised me up and gives me everything she have and protect me each and everyday until now I’ve grown and become a big girl. All I can do is to keep her around me and be there with her in every moment of life.



    mi`nh lam chi duoc nhieu doa' thoi nhung mi`nh ko bie't lam sao de xai big word het coa' ai chi dum mi`nh nhung chu kha'c ko? sua dum mi`nh nha

  2. #2
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BeTien View Post
    The person whom i most admire

    I came to know who to listen to, who to respect, who to rely on, who to trust, who
    to ask for help. My mother is the person I most admire in my life. She inspires e in every different ways. She is always there to help me when I need her, when I’m feeling down she always cheer me up, when my father and my aunt scream at me, when I couldn’t take it anymore she is always the one there to help me calm because I remember it happened a few times when it come to me that I couldn’t take it anymore so I decided to leave the house but she cried so much and advised me to stay back in the house because she needed me. She fixes everything that goes wrong in the house just for me to be happy. I’m a lazy daughter I never like to do anything at home my mother always cooks for me, she does everything in the house, she always keeps the house neat. She never asks me to do anything but I do help her sometime because she thinks for me, she never wants me to be tired, she always told tells me to go school and home that’s all she needs from me. She is a great mother, a sweetest mother, a caring one. She always lets me out with my friend even when it gets dark, she never want to see me bored at home even though she cares for me once I step out of the house she not there with me when I’m outside and she don’t know what is going to happen to me, but she always want me to be safe and be good. I just love her with all my heart and promise to myself that I will do my best to take care and pay back everything I owed her but I don’t think I could ever pay back everything I owed her because she raised me up and gives me everything she have and protect me each and everyday until now I’ve grown and become a big girl. All I can do is to keep her around me and be there with her in every moment of life.



    mi`nh lam chi duoc nhieu doa' thoi nhung mi`nh ko bie't lam sao de xai big word het coa' ai chi dum mi`nh nhung chu kha'c ko? sua dum mi`nh nha

    First thing first, keep your sentence short.

    Ex: She always there to help me when I need her, when I’m feeling down she always cheer me up, when my father and my aunt scream at me, when I couldn’t take it anymore she always the one there to help me calm because I remember it happens a few times when it come to me that I couldn’t take it anymore so I decided to leave the house but she cried so much and advice me to stay back in the house because she need me. Break this run-on into several sentences.

    Second, watch out for contradiction
    Ex: I’m a lazy daughter I never like to do anything at home my mother always cook for me, she does everything in the house, she always keep the house neat. She never ask me to do anything but I do help her sometime because she thinks for me


    Third, correct usage - direct translation:
    She never ask me to do anything but I do help her sometime because she thinks for nghĩa là mẹ nghĩ giùm em (em không tự nghĩ lấy được). Cái này là nghĩ tiếng VN rồi dịch qua TA.

    me vì mẹ nghĩ cho [tới] em. Dùng because she thinks of me. Hoặc tốt hơn là because she cares for me.

    Fourth, grammar. Check it. I corrected some in red. She did it once, but she always does it.

    Fifth, read out loud. After writing an essay, read it out loud. Your ears can catch errors that your eyes can't.

    Try to rewrite it. Don't worry about big words. You are doing good.

  3. #3
    BeTien
    Guest

    Default

    I came to know who to listen to, who to respect, who to rely on, who to trust, who
    to ask for help. My mother is the person I most admire in my life. She inspires me in every different ways. She is always there to help me when I need her, when I’m feeling down she always cheer me up, when my father and my aunt scream at me, when I couldn’t take it anymore she is always the one there to help me calm because I remember it happened a few times when it come to me that I couldn’t take it anymore so I decided to leave the house but she cried so much and advised me to stay back in the house because she needed me. She fixes everything that goes wrong in the house just for me to be happy. I’m a lazy daughter I never like to do anything at home, my mother always cooks for me, she does everything in the house, she always keeps the house neat. She never asks me to do anything but I do help her sometime because she thinks for me, she never wants me to be tired, she always tells me to go school and home that’s all she needs from me. She is a great mother, a sweetest mother, a caring one. She always lets me out with my friend even when it gets dark, she never want to see me bored at home even though she cares for me because once I step out of the house she not there with me when I’m outside and she don’t know what is going to happen to me, but she always want me to be safe and be good. I just love her with all my heart and promise to myself that I will do my best to take care and pay back everything I owed her but I don’t think I could ever pay back everything I owed her because she raised me up and gives me everything she have and protect me each and everyday until now I’ve grown and become a big girl. All I can do is to keep her around me and be there with her in every moment of life.



    thanks paddy nha em sua roi anh coi duoc ko?

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
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    Quote Originally Posted by BeTien View Post
    thanks paddy nha em sua roi anh coi duoc ko?
    Fix problem #1 first.

  5. #5
    BeTien
    Guest

    Default

    I came to know who to listen to, who to respect, who to rely on, who to trust, who
    to ask for help. My mother is the person I most admire in my life. She inspires me in every different ways.

    She is always there to help me when I need her, when I’m feeling down she always cheer me up, when my father and my aunt scream at me, when I couldn’t take it anymore she is always the one there to help me calm because I remember it happened a few times when it come to me that I couldn’t take it anymore so I decided to leave the house but she cried so much and advised me to stay back in the house because she needed me. She fixes everything that goes wrong in the house just for me to be happy. I’m a lazy daughter I never like to do anything at home, my mother always cooks for me, she does everything in the house, she always keeps the house neat. She never asks me to do anything but I do help her sometime, she never wants me to be tired, she always tells me to go school and home that’s all she needs from me. She is a great mother, a sweetest mother, a caring one. She always lets me out with my friend even when it gets dark, she never want to see me bored at home, she cares for me because once I step out of the house she can’t be there with me and she don’t know what is going to happen to me, but deep down inside I know she always want me to be safe and be good.


    I just love her with all my heart and promise to myself that I will do my best to take care and pay back everything I owed her but I don’t think I could ever pay back everything I owed her because she raised me up and gives me everything she have and protect me each and everyday until now I’ve grown and become a big girl. All I can do is to keep her around me and be there with her in every moment of life.



    em sua lai roi anh coi sao?

  6. #6
    Junior Member
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    Sep 2013
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    Very good essay editing. Just start out by writing what you believe love means. Then elaborate on each meaning of love that you gave. You can also put in experience you had. Or just describe all sorts of love there is in this world such as family, friends, enemy, boy friend or girl friend. Don't talk only about the romantic aspect of love, talk about the love between a little girl and her dolls, between a boy and his pet rabbit. To write a short essay about Love, you don't write something that is disturbing or enlightening a negative glow.

  7. #7
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1

    Default pls help fix it! Thank you so much

    today i want complain a big problem to HR department,

    the first , the guy is name ... a long time ago, he was bad behavior with me. he always real to seek a quarrel with me. on the tuesday, when i came back home after finish work. I saw he in the bedroom, habitually i was change the clothe and i go out to the living room. as usual, i always to have respect for all guys live in my condo, as i was close the door very very slowly and quiet, i am sure, you cant hear the soundless. So suddenly, he is crazy and follow me go to living room , howling a big sound so " Why i was close the door ". i real real don't know what is it happen.
    i just silent, he was said loudly in my face, and he put his fist up to punch me, he also said challenged me to fight , so many time he raised his fist to hit me up, he swore so many times, and very hard to hear.
    you know, he don't have diploma for university or college. He is a man of little education. If someone to seek a quarrel with you, curse you, and also to fight with you, Surely you will not be able to calm down. so i also have knowledgeable and educated

    so i can keep calm ,i think i stay here for working, not fighting, and i think may be he crazy, So i was silent, in fact happen about 10 minute, and then he leaves . on the last night, i think he calm back. i ask he, " how do about your behavior with me " . he's answer " he want kills me to die " once again, he put his fist up to punch me, he swore so many times . immediately my friends were prevent his. However i can keep calm but i real angry for he's fool that.

    and now, i need HR's help. We must warning letter him for he' hooligan.

    the second, i don't want live together with hooligan. To ensure that I can live comfortably, to do good my job and safely , he cant to seek a quarrel with me. May you check another condo still space bed, i real want he must moves to there

    if he will to seek a quarrel, or want to kill me once again. We will must he resign

    so support for HR, i will meet you anytime, and so You can confirm information from 2 peoples last night : they are
    Last edited by banhxe; 09-26-2013 at 10:34 AM.

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