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Understanding Vietnamese dating - American man vietnamese woman
Ok so here is my story that I need some help with. I am 40 x-military Americanand very conservative. I look young for my age and am very athletic. I make roughly 45K but have own 2 properties in South Florida and one rented is paying for both. So what I make – I keep. Although not a lot of income- def not bad as I have almost no costs toward living expenses.
A Co-Worker introduced me to a 30 year Vietnamese woman- which I was hesitant to do at first. I did not want to get involved with a green card mess and what-not - in my mind. But being that I was not seeing anyone I agreed. And fell instantly head over heels for this girl. She wowed me with her beauty, smile, and Charisma.
Well, from talking to her she is living with my co-worker (American) and her Cousin (who is the wife of my co-worker). She just recently (2yrs) was divorced from her husband who was a Vietnamese living in Texas. Apparently, he cheated on her and left her for another woman- is what she says. Also, remarried in Vietnam, while they were still married.
Now the story, as now I am 1 month and a half of seeing this girl. She will never spend the night at my house or spend a lot of time with me. I am lucky if I get 2 times a week, but defiantly I get 1 time a week for a few hours to see her. As she says Vietnamese culture different than Americans. And she doesn’t want dishonor her mother a second time (first time was divorce from the other guy). And that if she goes home late- her cousin might say something to her family. Sometimes she acts like a 16 year old in her ways to me and tries to come off Virgin-like. Now here is the kicker (not to kiss and tell but) we had sex on the second date. And now every time I see her it is accepted that we go out to eat and back to my place and have crazy sex- probably like none I have ever had before- I am so attracted to her. I do notice tattoos on her as well- which was the only reason on the second date – I swallowed my shyness and said what the hell I will try and see if she will get freaky with me- and she did. Instant chemistry!!!!
But my issue is with her that she said it is just hang out and that if she sees me more and more that she needs to be married. But also, to find out it is not a GreenCard issue as Guess What- She already has one! Full Citizenship actually. She is very distrustful of Americans- and she said the only reason she even dated me is because her Cousin husband set us up and she trusts him. My problem with her is that I don’t want to get married right away. And in order to See her a lot more it seems that is the only solution. Which really sucks as I have deep feeling for her and NO NOT JUST SEXUALLY. I was just giving you insight to the scenario. Her English is very very broken and most of the time we are on Viet/Eng translate program on her phone. I am the first American she dated. I also noticed that I will say things like I miss you texting and she wont respond usually. I know she likes me- and most guys would say I have it made- sex and take her home- but I want a real relationship and told her that. She says it is a culture difference and she can never stay the night as it is disrespectful. And that she likes me cause she is having sex with me. And normally she wouldn’t that fast ever!! Remember I am the first American she was with. And to Americas wouldn’t that just booty call, sex and leaving- as opposed to sex and cuddling all night??? She also works at a nail salon where the Vietnamese men are constantly telling her American men are bad and will leave you and all sorts of things. She acts like a kid and got mad at me one time because I asked about her ex. She always seems to almost play a “I hate you game” though texts. And then makeup the next day – she always says I make her cry….When I never do anything wrong. It also feels like her Cousin constantly has control of her and almost like that is the reason she has to go home early so that she please her..
I am someone affectionate and am not used to this type of back off-ish style. I know she loves to cuddle and likes me- but another part of me thinks she is playing games….
Please give advice – let me know if it truly is a culture issue or what. I have deep feelings for this girl and don’t want to stop seeing her but also unhappy with how it is going.
If you still want some advice, then send me your email or other way to talk in private. It's a topic not suitable to the public view, because every case is different.