Please help me understand...

[onedaymylove]

I was lucky to be loved by a girl like you AND I still LOVE her

Then she is a happy girl. Not like me. Because HE NEVER LOVED me.
That's why it hurt for so long and so much.

I remember how happy I was without love. But I guess I had a lesson to learn.
Now I know when you really love someone, it hurts.
Makes you feel like standing before Heaven's gates, but then the gates are shut on you. I got close enough, but I was never allowed to enter. Only touched the skies. Then back to earth again. A scar across my heart.

I hope I will never love again.
I just want to be free...

[Tanyenbai]

Then she is a happy girl. Not like me. Because HE NEVER LOVED me.
That's why it hurt for so long and so much.

I remember how happy I was without love. But I guess I had a lesson to learn.
Now I know when you really love someone, it hurts.
Makes you feel like standing before Heaven's gates, but then the gates are shut on you. I got close enough, but I was never allowed to enter. Only touched the skies. Then back to earth again. A scar across my heart.

I hope I will never love again.
I just want to be free...

I am happy that You got the answer for yourself. He was captured by you like a Heaven gate and it was kept shut. It must be your first love.
But by saying like that I reckon that you might be exposed to more dangers of other types. Losing faith in love.