Please help me understand...

[onedaymylove]

Hello everyone

I never thought I would tell anyone about my hurt, but the pain is still there and I am still wondering how it happened. I guess I need help, so here's my story:

I fell in love with a Viet-kieu, fell in love with his sweet talk, his charm, his kindness. We started out as chat friends, but very soon he started to lead the whole thing in the "love" direction, all the while hiding his identity 99%, feigning love, feigning loneliness and oceans of understanding for all I ever said. Of course, naive as I was, it all ended in a disaster, icy coldness and even mutual attacks. He is a cruel man who broke my heart, but I never stopped loving him.

I've never been in Vietnam, there are no Vietnamese where I live and I don't know much about Vietnamese mentality, but after what happened to me, I started wondering if it's common for Viet men (even overseas Vietnamese, too) to consider it a natural thing to have a woman "on the side", and euphemistically call it "love", even if using someone's true feelings is just food for their vanity? Because that's what it seems he expected me to be. He said he has lived abroad for most of his life, but it seems his upbringing never left him, especially considering the fact that even living in the West he still married an Asian woman. Of course he didn't tell me he was married, until we actually met (and he was the one who insisted that we meet as soon as possible). He assured me that the loved me and that we can have a future ... I know it's in the nature of men never to miss a chance to "play" whenever they see a foolish girl, but the way he did it was too much...

I'm sorry if the topic is too personal for this kind of forums, but I'd really appreciate any feedback on this. In English, please, since I can't understand much Vietnamese. He never bothered too much about me really, which includes his ignoring my thirst for learning this beautiful language.

Thank you.

[vietnamese4u]

I don't know, there are a lot of kind of person... just hope you feel happier after reading this

[MANH NGUYEN]

Dear Onedaymylove,

I don't really know how to respond your thread. But you are not alone! Please, read this:

http://community.vdict.com/showthrea...2966#post22966

Good luck.

[LtDra]

To onedaymylove.
As you wrote "fell in love with his sweet talk, his charm, his kindness". I guess you have a good learned for these kind of "Sweet,charm & kindness", this is very common to everyman around the world not just only Vienamese guys, as more "Sweet,charm & kindness" on the first meet he has as less faithful he will.... A real man with a real love never want to get a girl by his sweet talk or his charm, he will be waiting and watching for the good chance to getting trust from her one by one before he actually brave enough to get closer to her.... well this is kind of personal opinion... I hope you will figured out and learn thing your self, cause everything had happened already. So it's really up to you, up to your luck to get thing better . And anyway don't let the past strangles your heart though.

[Paddy]

To onedaymylove.
As you wrote "fell in love with his sweet talk, his charm, his kindness". I guess you have a good learned for these kind of "Sweet,charm & kindness", this is very common to everyman around the world not just only Vienamese guys, as more "Sweet,charm & kindness" on the first meet he has as less faithful he will.... A real man with a real love never want to get a girl by his sweet talk or his charm, he will waiting and watching for the good chance to getting trust from her one by one before he actually brave enough to get closer to her.... well this is kind of personal opinion... I hope you will figured out and learn thing your self, cause everything had happened already. So it's really up to you, up to your luck to get thing better . And anyway don't let the past strangles your heart thought.

though ?..........

[LtDra]

though ?..........

You got me thx

[dethuong_x0x]

.... A real man with a real love never want to get a girl by his sweet talk or his charm, he will waiting and watching for the good chance to getting trust from her one by one before he actually brave enough to get closer to her.... well this is kind of personal opinion...

Is that a mistake?

[LtDra]

Is that a mistake?

I missed the "be". Thank cookie DT

[Tanyenbai]

expectations seldom meet. if they do, this world will be a spectaculair heaven to live. You have to overcome the pain. the more You try to hide the pain, the more the pain grows. do not put a question of Vietnamese men in this specific situation. any man of any nationality may have the similar behavior, even worse. I was lucky to be loved by a girl like you AND I still LOVE her

[onedaymylove]

I was lucky to be loved by a girl like you AND I still LOVE her

Then she is a happy girl. Not like me. Because HE NEVER LOVED me.
That's why it hurt for so long and so much.

I remember how happy I was without love. But I guess I had a lesson to learn.
Now I know when you really love someone, it hurts.
Makes you feel like standing before Heaven's gates, but then the gates are shut on you. I got close enough, but I was never allowed to enter. Only touched the skies. Then back to earth again. A scar across my heart.

I hope I will never love again.
I just want to be free...