Building complex sentences in English

[sang56]

We all like to be able to write complex and beautiful sentences. The common mistake many new learners make is, however, to begin with long and complex sentences, which can easily lead to grammatical mistakes and unclear meaning.

A better way, in my opinion, is to start with a simple sentence that contains the required basic elements (a clear subject with its verb and an object if needed,) then add complexity to the sentence. It is like building a house. You start with a solid foundation, build a good frame on the foundation, put up a roof and four walls, then paint and decorate the house as you wish. With a solid foundation and a strong frame, the rest can follow more naturally and are well supported.


Example 1: Build a complex sentence from a simple one.

He bowed low. (bow: cúi đầu hay cúi người)
The verb “bow” here is used in a similar way to the verbs “look/seem/appear” (có vẻ) that are followed by an adjective to describe state of being of the subject. For example, he looks weak (ông ta có vẻ yếu). Weak is an adjective describing “he”. “Bow respectfully”: kính cẩn cúi đầu hay chào.

He bowed low in front of the man.
Where did he bow? He bowed in front of the man. In front of the man is an adverb phrase that modifies the verb bow

He bowed low, right down to the ground, in front of the man.
(How low did he bow? He bowed right down to the ground). Rule: In English you can add a modifying word, phrase or clause between two commas next to a word/phrase/clause. Remember that the addition has to be such that it can be taken out without affecting the original sentence.

Ex: Venus, the second planet from the Sun, is named for the Roman goddess of beauty.
Two thousand years ago, at the dawn of the first century, the world was ruled from Rome, and Rome was in turmoil.

He bowed low, right down to the ground, in front of the man sitting there motionless.
Who was the man? The man (who was) sitting there motionless. Rule: You can use verb-ing as an adjective to modify a noun.
Ex: man sitting there (người ngồi đó); dogs running wild (chó chạy rông)

He bowed low, right down to the ground, in front of the man sitting there motionless, whose smile reminded him of everything.
(What was it about the man? The man, whose smile reminded him of everything. Rule: use “who/whom/whose, that/which, where, when” after a noun (or a sentence) to create a new sentence modifying the noun (or sentence).
Ex: The man who mistook his wife for a hat (Người đàn ông mà tưởng lẩm vợ mình là cái nón)
The White House, where the current U.S. President lives, is in Washington, D.C.

He bowed low, right down to the ground, in front of the man sitting there motionless, whose smile reminded him of everything that he ever loved in his life.
What is everything? Everything that he ever loved … modifying clause for everything.
Ex: A day to forget that is also a day to remember. (Remember?!)

He bowed low, right down to the ground, in front of the man sitting there motionless, whose smile reminded him of everything that he ever loved in his life, of everything that had ever been of value and holy in his life.
(repeating style for emphasis and additional meaning)
“Of value” is used as an adjective, meaning valuable. Some similar terms: man of integrity, man of courage (courageous man)

The above is the final sentence in a novel titled “Siddhartha” by Hermann Hesse, who received a Nobel Prize in Literature in 1946.

Below is the final paragraph of the novel.

Govinda bowed low. Incontrollable tears trickled down his old face. He was overwhelmed by a feeling of great love, of the most humble veneration. He bowed low, right down to the ground, in front of the man sitting there motionless, whose smile reminded him of everything that he ever loved in his life, of everything that had ever been of value and holy in his life.

Govinda cúi xuống. Nước mắt tuông chảy không ngừng trên gương mặt già nua. Lòng ông tràn ngập niềm mến thương và tôn kính. Ông cúi thấp hơn đến khi đầu chạm đất trước một người ngồi bất động. Một người mà nụ cười gợi cho ông nhớ đến tất cả những gì mình đã từng yêu thương, tất cả những gì quý giá và thiêng liêng trong đời.

Example 2: Condense sentences and connect separate sentences.

When death occurs in this forsaken place, it could come in countless forms.
Occurring in this forsaken place, death could come in countless forms.
The above is a very common way to connect two clauses when they have the same subject and make the whole sentence shorter at the same time. Just convert the verb into verb-ing (for active meaning) as above. For passive meaning, use verb-ed or past participle (for irregular verbs).

Ex: When dogs are abandoned at the end of each school year in many college towns, they would run around searching for food and shelter.

Abandoned at the end of each school year in many college towns, dogs would run around searching for food and shelter.

However, nothing could prepare him for a fate (that was) as barbarous and unnatural as the one.
Can delete that was. “as barbarous and unnatural as the one” becomes an adjective phrase modifying the noun “fate”

However, nothing could prepare him for a fate as barbarous and unnatural as the one (that was) about to happen to him.
delete “that was”

Below is the actual opening passage in Dan Brown’s novel entitled “Deception Point.” Mr. Brown is currently one of the best thriller writers in the U.S. His writing is quite condensed and precise. His most famous novel to date is “The Da Vinci Code.”

Death, in this forsaken place, could come in countless forms. Geologist Charles Brophy had endured the savage splendor of this terrain for many years, and yet nothing could prepare him for a fate as barbarous and unnatural as the one about to befall him. (This was happening in the Artic. Mr. Brophy was later forced onto a helicopter just to be thrown out and fell to his death.)

Chết ở nơi hoang địa này có thể đến bằng vô số hình dạng. Địa chất gia Charles Brophy đã chịu đựng nỗi cảnh hùng tráng hoang rợ của miền đất này nhiều năm rồi, nhưng không có gì có thể chuẩn bị nỗi cho ông với cái số mệnh dã man và quái gỡ sắp xảy đến cho mình. (Chuyện này xảy ra ở Bắc Cực. Sau đó ông ta bị băt lên máy bay trực thăng, xong bị đẩy rớt xuống chết)