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Please all friends can help me check my essay
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  1. #1
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    Default Please all friends can help me check my essay

    Hi all friends
    I have a topic writing an essay: part-time job. this is my introduction. please anyone who can help me check this introduction . is it enough detail background information, the thesis statement is parallel and grammar. Thank your for helping me very much

    “Maybe you don't like your job, maybe you didn't get enough sleep, well nobody likes their job, and nobody got enough sleep. Maybe you just had the worst day of your life, but you know, there's no escape, there's no excuse, so just suck up and be nice” said Ani Difranco. This can be true to many students who are studying at college or university. They have to study hard-work every day because they want to have a good future for their lifetime. Moreover, students need to have money to pay tuition fees and living expense. Therefore, many students have part-time jobs to stable life while they study at school. Besides these reasons, students get part-time jobs should have three things benefits such as have extra money to support their life, get work experience and expanded relationship social.( thesis statement)
    Last edited by kutron; 02-16-2009 at 07:57 AM.

  2. #2
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    and this is the body of part 1 and part 2. please help me check grammar, putuation, spelling , I need to hand to instructor tomorrow, thank you very much.

    Firstly, part-time jobs can help students to support their life in different ways such as tuition fees, tools of studying and living expense. Tuition fees in colleges or universities are very high. Some parents can not pay fees off packages in the whole year for their children, so Students go to work part-time on the weekend which can help their parents a part of fees. In the meanwhile, some other students like to work part-time jobs because they prefer independent from their parents. They want to work demonstrated in the field of life. Moreover, working can help more students have money to buy tools of studying and support learning better. For example, laptop is necessary can not be the lack of students in colleges or universities because they need to search documentation and do project submitted to instructors; text books and reference books also are equipment to students. This equipment can be done easily if they have wages of part-time jobs. Besides, many students like to live with partners or friends rather than to parents because it can help facilitate students in learning. However, if they live with partner, students need to share many things in the house as rent house, cable, internet, and bill gas, electric. If they do not have extra money, they can not make it. Part-time jobs are not only help students more money on course fees, purchase learning tools but also show their ability for parents and social.

    In addition to have extra money to hold better life, secondly, students can get work experience during learning at school. Many students said “experience from part-time jobs is priceless”. In fact, students in schools are just learning about theory by books, but experience can know only through the jobs. There are many jobs opportunity for students on the weekend as waiter in the restaurants or cashier in the store and fast food, and they like to work waiters or waitresses on the restaurants because these restaurants can pay cash for students. It is very convenient for them. At restaurant, they can know how to do the job, how to service customer. For example, be friendly to customers, take orders and service quickly, these things students can not learn from books. Specially, in many companies approve students come to work volunteers in summer time. After that, students can get certificates experience working. This is the good credit for them easy to find jobs after get graduated from school. Work experience is very useful; it can help students for their future much better.

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