please anyone can help me check the introduction of essay

[kutron]

Hi all friends,
this is my introduction of essay that I just wrote. anyone who can help me check my introduction. is it enough background information, hook to grab the attention of the reader and good thesis statement? this is my assgisment in class. If it is not enough information, anyone can help me add more detail in my essay. Thank you everyone lots. I really hurry about this introduction. heartfelt thank
TOPIC: COMPARE YOUR COUNTRY TO ENGLISH CONTRY

Culture clothing between Canada and Vietnam

The Culture from different every countries are special areas feather. It also shows nation character of every country on the world. Specially, Vietnam is a small country, but it has 4000 years history of traditional culture. Traditional culture in Vietnam was affected by Vietnamese wars as much as in the period of time. On the other hand, Canada is a large country, and culture was influenced by British and French. Compare to Vietnam, Canada has small population, large area and two official languages. Moreover, there are differences between Canada and Vietnam some of clothing includes traditional clothing, cotemporary clothing and seasonal clothing.

[kutron]

please ! every one can help me about this introduction of me. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

[Green]

Through time, the evolution in clothing went along with each country’s ethnicity and geography. VietNam is a small country with its population of more than 85 million. It is also a multi-ethnic country. The largest ethnic group is Kinh, or Viet occupies 86.2% of the population. There are three main geographical regions in Vietnam; they are North, Central, and the South. Local people who are living in each region long enough to speak their language in different tone and accent. Vietnam located at the SouthEast Asia and in the tropical zone, facing Pacific Ocean to the East. The humid winter in the North and dry season in the South, can also play an important role in deciding the seasonal clothing.
In spite of the influences of imported Western clothing nowadays; especially in a modern time, many Vietnamese people adapt this change, wearing fashionable or contemporary attires, but many others still maintaining Vietnamese traditional culture by appearing themselves in some occasions, dressing their traditional outfits.


hi kutron, please let me know if the introduction paragraph is too long, I still have to write about Canada. Regarding to the outline you posted on 01/16, it is good, you can write your supporting paragraphs following your outline. Thanks, Green

[Green]

New revision of the introduction paragraph:

Through time, the evolution in clothing went along with each country’s ethnicity and geography. VietNam is a multi-ethnic country in which Viet occupies 86.2% of the population. Vietnam located at SouthEast Asia, in a tropical zone, facing Pacific Ocean in the East. Coastal regions along the side of the country inherit a cool weather, winter is humid and cold in the North, and summer is dry in the South. Because of the variance in geographical regions’ climate, fabrics are made for seasonal clothing is different in each region. In a comparison, Canada, a country also has a multi-ethnic population, English and French are largest ethnic groups, located at Northern North America, surrounding it in the East, West, and Northward by Atlantic Ocean, Pacific Ocean, and Arctic Ocean accordingly. Unlike Vietnam, some parts of Canada provinces experience the continental climate, cold and snow in winter. Therefore, garments materials are made more likely to accommodate its particular season.

Nowadays, fashion/contemporary clothing has been widespread in Vietnam and Canada, and the fashion has changed seasonally. Although many Canadian have been adopting English, French styles through period of times and the import of Western fashion style to Vietnam; however, many other Canadian and Vietnamese people still maintain their traditional culture in some occasions, dressing aboriginal clothing in Canada, and Áo Dài in Vietnam.

[kutron]

thank you green for helping me lots of, your pargarph is really interesting, actually, I'm learning how to write a good essay, that means, in the introduction,my instructor requests me that I have to write 2 introduction as same topic but it different technique. it must has 3 things below:
1. A hook or attention grabber .
2. background information
3. a clear thesis in the last sentence.

this is the first introduction of me. Green can help me check grammar, puntuation and structure. is it ok? thank you Green a lot.

Clothing in Vietnam and Canada
I. Introduction 1
Hook technique: pose a question
Can we understand different cultures from the way people dress? Culture varies from country to country; some have significant differences while others some are quite similar. When we compare Vietnam with Canada, we can find many differences. Vietnam is a small country, but it has long history of more than 4000 years full of traditional culture which has been influenced by the French and Chinese. On the other hand, Canada is a much larger country, but its heritage was still influenced by other cultures as well. Besides culture, fashion is also influenced by outside cultures just as Canada has been for long time by the United States and Europe. Similarly, Vietnam was also influenced by French and Chinese fashion in the past and as a result that influence can be seen in the clothing people wear in both countries. Moreover, there are three interesting differences styles of clothes in Vietnam and Canada, in terms of traditional dress, contemporary fashion and seasonal attire.

[Green]

Can we understand culture from the way people dress? Generally, culture-clothing can vary from country to country; however, some countries are quite similar in their attires. Vietnam has a long history of more than 4000 years full of traditional culture which has been influenced by French and Chinese. Likewise, Canada also has been adapted English and French as well. Through time, Vietnamese and Canadian have been maintaining their traditional cultures, and as a result that influence can be seen in the clothing people wear in both countries. Moreover, the introduction of American contemporary fashion is also well-known in these countries during this present time. There are three interesting different styles of clothes in terms of traditional dress, contemporary fashion and seasonal attires, can be illustrated in Vietnam and Canada nowadays.