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FYI - FPT tự quảng cáo
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  1. #1
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    Default FYI - FPT tự quảng cáo

    After the successful establishment of the first University, FPT corporation launched its second private university in Vietnam, FPT University of Computer Knowledges (F.U.C.K). F.U.C.K students (a.k.a F.U.C.Kers) will be provided with the lastest IT falcilities, including the wireless broadband service from a unit of FPT Telecom, WiMax for Home and Office Remote Extension (W.H.O.R.E). W.H.O.R.E is responsible for ensuring that F.U.C.Kers are always in ready condition to study new technologies and techniques.

    FPT's biggest company, FPT Integration Service, has changed its focus to High-techs solutions only, and changed its name to FPT Integration Service of High-technology (F.I.S.H). F.I.S.H has researched and developed its own network deployment methodology, System Hard Integration Techniques (S.H.I.T). During 2010, more than 300 companies in Vietnam have used S.H.I.T to build their information systems. Many companies even modified and improved S.H.I.T to adapt with their own scenarios. The most notable case is Baoviet with Baoviet Unified Legacy Logics S.H.I.T (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T). B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T was rewarded "S.H.I.T of the year" by F.I.S.H.

    FPT Distribution Channels also made remarkable improvement in 2010 with 2 new programmes: Distribution and Introduction Channel Knowledgebase (D.I.C.K) and Product User Satisfaction SurveY (P.U.S.S.Y). While D.I.C.K aims at providing potential customers a comprehensive database of FDC's services, products, distribution network and showrooms, P.U.S.S.Y collects customers feedbacks to measure the efficiency and profitability of each channel. D.I.C.K and P.U.S.S.Y are 2 undetachable parts and contribute a lot to FDC's successes. Both of them are products of F.U.C.Kers but P.U.S.S.Y utilizes W.H.O.R.E’s infrastructure to simplify the data gathering process.

    FPT Mobile has cooperated with Hutchison to distribute the latest 3rd generation mobile phones and to bring into operation a 3G network. FPT Mobile has converted a lot of users from other mobile phone networks to its 3G service. 2009,2010 and 2011 are the 3-G Aggregation YearS (3-GAYS) for FPT Mobile.

    FPT Software Solution, the least known company, has made incredible achievements with a security system to protect software users from possible attacks, namely Application Security System for Home, Orgranisations and Large Enterprises (A.S.S.H.O.L.E). A.S.S.H.O.L.E is adopted quickly by domestic companies just as S.H.I.T was and brough millions of dollars of revenue for FSS.

    Finally, while other FPT companies focus on technology advancement and customer satisfaction, FPT Software's strategy is to increase profit by reducing human factor overhead in software processes. The most important activity was development of a technology that can automatically audit and patch software products. The system is called Software Upgrade and Correction Kits (S.U.C.K) and is still in beta. At the moment, it is being evaluated by selected users (S.U.C.Kers). Most of current S.U.C.Kers are F.U.C.Kers

    In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained, through our program of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.).

    We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

    Employees who do not take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in Departmental Employee Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (E.A
    Viet Thang Pham: Employees who do not take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in Departmental Employee Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.).

    Since your managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they do not have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, because they are full of S.H.I.T. allready.

    If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job, training others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to Director of Intensity Programming (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.).

    If you have any questions, please direct them to our Head Of Training Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.)
    Chuẩn bị học lại Tiếng Anh, và mong muốn học Hán Văn. Nên chăng?

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Innocent View Post
    After the successful establishment of the first University, FPT corporation launched its second private university in Vietnam, FPT University of Computer Knowledges (F.U.C.K). F.U.C.K students (a.k.a F.U.C.Kers) will be provided with the lastest IT falcilities, including the wireless broadband service from a unit of FPT Telecom, WiMax for Home and Office Remote Extension (W.H.O.R.E). W.H.O.R.E is responsible for ensuring that F.U.C.Kers are always in ready condition to study new technologies and techniques.
    Bác Innocent này chắc chỉ innocent lúc 18 tuổi thôi chứ bây giờ thì chắc chắn là hết innocent rồi.

  3. #3
    Senior Member dethuong_x0x's Avatar
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    Doc bai` nay` ko hieu? may' , nhung ma` sao nguoi` viet' bai` nay` ghep' chu~ hay qua'
    Nhất tự vi sư , bán tự vi sư
    ---
    1st Version:
    Anyone who teaches me one word - even half a word - is still my teacher.
    2nd Version:
    Even he who teaches me the smallest bit can still be called my teacher

    Please correct my grammar as you see fit. Much appreciated!

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by dethuong_x0x View Post
    Doc bai` nay` ko hieu? may' , nhung ma` sao nguoi` viet' bai` nay` ghep' chu~ hay qua'
    Không hiểu thì tốt, tức là còn innocent.

    Coi câu của LtDra và bác Quang mà học.

    Học bất hảo, bất học dã hảo.
    (Học điều không tốt thì thà vô học còn hơn)

  5. #5
    Senior Member unnamed's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paddy View Post
    Không hiểu thì tốt, tức là còn innocent.

    Coi câu của LtDra và bác Quang mà học.

    Học bất hảo, bất học dã hảo.
    (Học điều không tốt thì thà vô học còn hơn)
    Có một anh chàng là kỹ sư hay bác sĩ gì đó, đại loại là trí thức. Do nghiên cứu khoa học nhiều nên không am hiểu lắm sự đời, đến khi lấy vợ do đầu óc phong kiến bảo thủ nên lo lắng rằng mình sẽ bị phụ nữ lừa đảo.

    Anh này quyết định về quê xa, tìm một bé gái cỡ khoảng 12 - 13 tuổi thơ ngây trong trắng, đưa lên thành phố và dày công chăm bẵm, quản lý chặt chẽ. Sáu năm sau, em đủ tuổi trưởng thành anh này quyết định tổ chức đám cưới linh đình và hết sức mãn nguyện về thành quả của mình.

    Đến đêm tân hôn, sau khi động phòng hoa chúc, anh ngạo nghễ hỏi vợ
    - "Em cảm thấy thế nào!"
    Cô vợ thủng thỉnh trả lời
    - "Tưởng thế nào chứ trò này hồi đi chăn trâu bọn em chơi mãi rồi"......

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by unnamed View Post
    Có một anh chàng là kỹ sư hay bác sĩ gì đó, đại loại là trí thức. Do nghiên cứu khoa học nhiều nên không am hiểu lắm sự đời, đến khi lấy vợ do đầu óc phong kiến bảo thủ nên lo lắng rằng mình sẽ bị phụ nữ lừa đảo.

    Anh này quyết định về quê xa, tìm một bé gái cỡ khoảng 12 - 13 tuổi thơ ngây trong trắng, đưa lên thành phố và dày công chăm bẵm, quản lý chặt chẽ. Sáu năm sau, em đủ tuổi trưởng thành anh này quyết định tổ chức đám cưới linh đình và hết sức mãn nguyện về thành quả của mình.

    Đến đêm tân hôn, sau khi động phòng hoa chúc, anh ngạo nghễ hỏi vợ
    - "Em cảm thấy thế nào!"
    Cô vợ thủng thỉnh trả lời
    - "Tưởng thế nào chứ trò này hồi đi chăn trâu bọn em chơi mãi rồi"......
    Chà, cũng thiên hạ đệ nhất tục như ai. Chắc phải kiếm cho bác cái avatar hình Lỗ Trí Thâm quá.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paddy View Post
    Bác Innocent này chắc chỉ innocent lúc 18 tuổi thôi chứ bây giờ thì chắc chắn là hết innocent rồi.
    Bài này tui chỉ sưu tầm thôi. Innocent vẫn là innocent đến từng chi tiết mà
    Chuẩn bị học lại Tiếng Anh, và mong muốn học Hán Văn. Nên chăng?

  8. #8
    hdungbeat
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    This advertisement is very funny It make me laugh. Could you tell me where you get it? I think you understand what it means thus you are not innocent

  9. #9
    hdungbeat
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    hahahahahaha...LOLA ! I can't fancy how the FPT member could be when they read the ad in this thread?

  10. #10

    Default

    I am the author of this text. I wrote it when I was working for FPTSoftware

    After the successful establishment of the first University, FPT corporation launched its second private university in Vietnam, FPT University of Computer Knowledges (F.U.C.K). F.U.C.K students (a.k.a F.U.C.Kers) will be provided with the lastest IT falcilities, including the wireless broadband service from a unit of FPT Telecom, WiMax for Home and Office Remote Extension (W.H.O.R.E). W.H.O.R.E is responsible for ensuring that F.U.C.Kers are always in ready condition to study new technologies and techniques.

    FPT's biggest company, FPT Integration Service, has changed its focus to High-techs solutions only, and changed its name to FPT Integration Service of High-technology (F.I.S.H). F.I.S.H has researched and developed its own network deployment methodology, System Hard Integration Techniques (S.H.I.T). During 2010, more than 300 companies in Vietnam have used S.H.I.T to build their information systems. Many companies even modified and improved S.H.I.T to adapt with their own scenarios. The most notable case is Baoviet with Baoviet Unified Legacy Logics S.H.I.T (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T). B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T was rewarded "S.H.I.T of the year" by F.I.S.H.

    FPT Distribution Channels also made remarkable improvement in 2010 with 2 new programmes: Distribution and Introduction Channel Knowledgebase (D.I.C.K) and Product User Satisfaction SurveY (P.U.S.S.Y). While D.I.C.K aims at providing potential customers a comprehensive database of FDC's services, products, distribution network and showrooms, P.U.S.S.Y collects customers feedbacks to measure the efficiency and profitability of each channel. D.I.C.K and P.U.S.S.Y are 2 undetachable parts and contribute a lot to FDC's successes. Both of them are products of F.U.C.Kers but P.U.S.S.Y utilizes W.H.O.R.E’s infrastructure to simplify the data gathering process.

    FPT Mobile has cooperated with Hutchison to distribute the latest 3rd generation mobile phones and to bring into operation a 3G network. FPT Mobile has converted a lot of users from other mobile phone networks to its 3G service. 2009,2010 and 2011 are the 3-G Aggregation YearS (3-GAYS) for FPT Mobile.

    FPT Software Solution, the least known company, has made incredible achievements with a security system to protect software users from possible attacks, namely Application Security System for Home, Orgranisations and Large Enterprises (A.S.S.H.O.L.E). A.S.S.H.O.L.E is adopted quickly by domestic companies just as S.H.I.T was and brough millions of dollars of revenue for FSS.

    Finally, while other FPT companies focus on technology advancement and customer satisfaction, FPT Software's strategy is to increase profit by reducing human factor overhead in software processes. The most important activity was development of a technology that can automatically audit and patch software products. The system is called Software Upgrade and Correction Kits (S.U.C.K) and is still in beta. At the moment, it is being evaluated by selected users (S.U.C.Kers). Most of current S.U.C.Kers are F.U.C.Kers
    The later part was not written by me. It was what inspired me

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